What's In The Box 👇
Dark & Medium
500g of each. Basically, the Golden Retriever of coffee beans 🐕
Free Exotic Fling
Pairs well with ghosting your alarm and your responsibilities 💃
Free Cheat Code
How to pour latte art so your friends think you have your life together 😎The Dirty Coffee Secret
Hi, I'm Toby, the guy who decided taking on billion-dollar coffee giants was a sensible life choice 👋
Back in 2011, I realised the big guys were taking us for a ride. Most of them churn out mountains of aluminium and charge us a 'Corporate Coffee Tax' for the privilege.
So, I went rogue and built a roastery that packs plant-based pods to take them on.
My mission was simple 👇
1. Roaster-Direct: We kicked the middleman out of the group chat (he was annoying anyway) so you pay roaster-direct prices
2. Plant-Based Pods: A smarter alternative to aluminium
3. Fair: We cut out corporate greed so you pay for the coffee, not their massive marketing budget
100% HAPPY OR MONEY BACK 🤝
We're all sick of "guarantees" that are 90% fine print and 10% disappointment. So we’re keeping ours completely bulletproof.
If you're not doing a happy dance after your first sip, we will fix it.
The Flavour Swap: If the pods aren't hitting the spot, we’ll send you a different intensity to try 🎯
The Machine Whisperers: Sometimes machines play up – our team will troubleshoot your pour until it's cafe quality 🪄
The 'No BS' Refund: If we still can't win you over, we'll refund every single cent. No interrogations and no awkward breakups ✌️
We are in the business of making you happy, not holding your wallet hostage. Pinky promise 🤙